on Hillary Duff............well, not really.


It's 2:40 in the morning of the 3rd day of February.  I just finished watching the movie A Cinderella Story.  And a thought popped in my mind.

Faerytales.  I loved them back when I was a 3-year old.  Till this very day, I still do.  The shows I love watching?  on Disney. 

Kuya Phillip once asked me why I enjoy watching such shows.  He said the cause of adults or teenagers being emotionally "immature" was these kinds of shows.  How?  Because these shows makes us believe that life is a journey through the rainbow wherein at the end of the rainbow is a treasure worth keeping.  He said that isn't as it is. 
Immaturity for some means being unable to hide once emotions and not being able to face life as it is.  But how is it really?  Can anyone tell?  Life is filled with ups and downs and every wave in it is what determines who the "I" is.  "I" is not a stable condition.  It entails anger, joy, sorrow and light.  That's exactly what immature means for others. 
However, is it really?  is it not that we were born with emotions?  Then why hide them?  In wars, those who hide are considered cowards.  Some say life is war.  Does it mean the same as most soldiers in war are cowards? 

When I was a child, I learned that life is a hard struggle.  I lost my dad - one of my most precious possessions.  While most little girls wish to be a princess and big girls wish to find their princes, I wished to have a father, and have him as my prince.  "There can be miracles when you believe."  I believed, but it never happened.  After the years have gone, I realized it can never happen.  My wish was just an impossibility; it was beyond the limitations.

But I can never give up.  That was 10 years ago and I'm still living...breathing.  Till this day I still don't have the dad I wished for.  When a little girl grows up and discovers princesses just belong in story books, they become heartbroken and for a moment, feels like the world is lost.  I, too, felt heartbroken but life should go on.  A child carries on with her life because a princess is confident, is beautiful and is brave .. in a sense that she won't give up.  A little girl lives out that princess within her and her dream then won't really be a complete fantasy.

Fantasy is merged with reality.  Two opposite poles collide in a lady's heart.  A complexity living in simplicity.

Now back to the top.  Faerytales tell us that crying is ok but we should remember that rains end and so should our tears.  Brave heroes aren't heroes because they didn't cry.  They fought.  They weren't cowards.  As princesses, in faery land, little girls are free, free to smile and see the beauty of the world.  As these little angels grow up, they live the life that adults say life is but many still, in there hearts, keep the princesses that once were just in story books.

What am I saying?  It's just that in the complexity of life, there is simplicity which we should live out.  Faerytales serve as a means for little angels to have hope, to stand up when they trip, while seeing how precious life can be.

I lost a dad... but I know, he won't want me to lose my life.  I'm living it.